Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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