Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
