Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
