Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
