We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
