i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
