so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Randomize
