turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He better not be in your backpack
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
