So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
