i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You ruined the universe
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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