there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
