Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
