didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
