I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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