So drunk its hurt
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
This baby is an asshole
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
