a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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