The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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