Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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