My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
so much tequila, so little girl.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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