I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
