Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
