his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
