Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
