Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
