My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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