Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Houston, we have a squirter
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
