I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
