meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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