it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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