roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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