I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
