I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
