but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
