She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
