Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
