Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
