It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
