I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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