You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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