More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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