We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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