Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
