? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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