Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
