tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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