People in love make me want to vomit
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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