Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
