i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
