at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
