Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
